I became a Mrs. on January 5th 2014. It was such an amazing day and I loved every moment of it! However, planning my wedding was another story....I HATED IT! As a wedding planner I have planned weddings for countless brides over the years and have loved every drama filled minute. So when I began planning I thought it would be easy-peasy, it was hardly that. However, as a wedding planner being a bride has given me a new perspective on my clients and a greater understanding of what they're going through. I give brides advice all the time and now I can give it with full knowledge of what I'm talking about. So here is my top 10 list of what I think all brides should know:
1. Really think about it. I thought I wanted a traditional wedding with all the bells and whistles. That is what I got and it was absolutely beautiful but getting there was a living hell! The majority of the planning process was awful for me. There was so many tears and so much drama I would never do it again. Even though my wedding was gorgeous and totally perfect I would have done something much smaller or even a planned elopement with family and close friends to avoid drama and chaos. Decide on what you really want and don't rush! You have time and everything doesn't need to be figured out the first week you're engaged.
2. Do what you want! Let me say this once, IT IS YOUR WEDDING!!! Not your mom, cousin, best friend, or sister. I know it's easy to buckle under pressure of approval but don't let any guilt trips bring you down. People can be mad all they want but they'll get over it. At the end of the day you're happy and that's what matters. I stood my ground with many elements of my wedding and I'm so happy I did. When it was all said and done everything was the way I wanted!!
3. There is no such thing as soul mates.....when it comes to the dress. There are way too many dresses out there with new designs constantly coming out to have "the one." When I bought my dress I had so much love for it I thought nothing could separate us. But when alterations started it was a different story, I started to doubt my choice and lust after a new dress I couldn't afford. I didn't cheat on my dress by trying the other on but my mind wandered to it often. Our love story has a happy ending though, during my last alteration I fell back in love and on my wedding day that other dress didn't even cross my mind. Find a dress you love and you feel gorgeous in! Don't buckle under pressure of others, don't buy something because it's cheap or a certain designer. Buy what you love! You can look after you buy but don't touch!
4. Include your groom. Chad was in a different state most of our engagement but I wanted him to feel included and to know it wasn't just my wedding. I asked his opinion on almost everything and when we finally were together we did so many DIY projects and prep for the wedding we got lost in the confetti and gift bags. It helped us bond and allowed us to work together and problem solve. Those memories are something I will always cherish, plus it's always good for your man to know his way around crazy cut scissors ;)
5. Longer isn't always better. My engagement was a little over a year and for me that was way too long. All of the professionals suggest a year but I think 6-9 months is a perfect length for an engagement. If you stay on top of everything you need to do it's definitely possible to achieve your dream wedding in that length of time.
6. Pinterest isn't always your friend. I'll be the first to admit I'm addicted to Pinterest. I have over 5,000 pins and go on it multiple times a day. There are so many wonderful inspirational ideas I found for my wedding but soon it became overwhelming! Don't feel like you need to use every idea you find.....you'll be burnt out! or that you need to do it exactly like the picture, make it your own! When it comes to Pinterest use it as a base for inspiration but don't become obsessed with making your wedding look "Pinterest worthy" just make yourself happy.
7. Listen to advice, not opinions. After I got engaged I was bombarded with family, friends, and even acquaintances telling me what they had at their wedding, their experiences, their advice, and their opinions. Some of it was extremely helpful but most of the time I found it extremely annoying. I wanted to hear experiences, tips, and advice about making this process easier. Instead I received unwanted opinions about my design choices and pushes for elements I didn't want. During this stressful time just tune it out! Listen and ask questions to brides because they can me a great resource but don't feel the need to take their opinions into consideration. Pick and choose what is comfortable for you and don't feel guilty if you decide to go in another direction.
8. Organization is key. There is so much paperwork, magazine clippings, and books you accumulate during this time...keep it organized! I bought a wedding planning binder from Barnes and Noble and it was completely useless. The pockets were too small and it was filled with tons of information that no one ever needed. Instead I bought an accordion folder, created a tab for the venue, florist, photographer, etc. and put all my important paperwork there. It was a lifesaver! Every time I went to a meeting I just grabbed my folder and everything was where I needed it to be. Also, I signed up for The Knot. They give you a timeline to follow, budget tracker, and everything else you would ever need and it's all paperless! It doesn't matter which method of organization you use as long as it happens. You'll thank me.
9. Laugh a little, or a lot. I learned fast the planning process doesn't go perfect but the more you learn to laugh it off the more fun you'll have. If you learn to roll with the punches and figure out your wedding isn't a David Tutera special you'll be able to enjoy this time and make memories that will last a lifetime.
10. Keep Jesus #1. Always remember God is at the center of your planning, your relationship, and your emotions. Give all of your worries, fears, and excitements to Him and it will make this process much easier.
Maddie
Love this! And love you!
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