When I was a kid the first thing I remember wanting to be was a ballerina. However, my mom told me that when I was about three I wanted to be a cat.... Since then I've wanted to be a princess, vet, teacher, lawyer, chef, business owner, elf, interior designer, model, event coordinator, counselor, and probably so much more. I'm still waiting for a long lost relative to call and say I'm an heir and Food Network to realize I'm a boss at microwaving leftovers but until then I'm stumped. When we were kids the sky was the limit with our dreams but anywhere between 16 and 18 the dreams come to a halt and the reality check hits. College visits, deciding a major, and basically planning your entire future. Who thought that was a good idea?? When I was a teenager I could barely decide where to go to lunch let alone decide my future!
I started college as a business management major because I wanted to be an event planner. When I got my internship I realized quickly experience was more important than knowing business and as I start Accounting 101 I realized I hated business management. I switched to Family and Consumer Science which was the best decision I've ever made (besides marrying Chad <3). It was the first time I actually succeeded in school and was passionate about academics. I loved every minute of my program studies! People always ask me what this major is so here is Montana State University's definition: "The Family and Consumer Sciences (FCS) profession is dedicated to enhancing the relationships among individuals, families, communities and the environments in which they function. The family and consumer sciences profession takes leadership in improving individual, family, and community well-being; impacting the development, delivery, and evaluation of consumer goods and services; influencing the creation of policy; and shaping societal change, thereby enhancing the human condition."Sounds good, right? The problem is I have no clue what to do with it!
By the way, our society doesn't like that. When I tell people I'm 23 and don't know what I want out of life I get a look of pity. Like, I'm unfocused and irresponsible because I haven't decided what I want to do for the next 50 years. Does anyone know what they really want for the next 50 years?!?! Is it that bad to not have it figured out? I struggle with this all the time. As much as I love my husbands (and that's a lot) it's hard living in his shadow sometimes. He's known from a very young age he wanted to be an engineer. He got a degree in it, received a job offer right out of the gate, then got his master's (for free!!!). Now he's making bank, climbing corporate ladders, and loving it. I mean, that happens to no one! Come on, Chad! ;) I couldn't be more proud of him but that type of focus is something I've never known. I love and have a passion for so many things I can't decide which one is best. I guess you could say I have passion ADHD. I cannot decide what I want to do. I just want to love it! Heck, I'd be happy being a barista the rest of my life if that's what God had for me.
I guess I'm writing this because I wonder if there are others out there that struggle with this? Struggle with not knowing their purpose in life. Struggle with feeling inadequate because they don't have a true profession. Wishing God would provide a neon sign saying "THIS IS WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO!" I assume most Christ followers have prayed the same prayer I have: "Lord, I'll do whatever you want if you'll just show me what it is." It's never that easy, is it? God loves to be creative instead of obvious. Sometimes beautiful but let's be honest, most of the time annoying. Does anyone else struggle with this? Not knowing? Not even a little clue?!?!
As a Christ follower I know my true purpose in life is to show God's love, follow His will, and hopefully bring others to Him. I love that! It's comforting to know that is what life is truly about, but which avenue do I take to allow all those things to happen? I know, trust God. That's the answer to it all. Easier said than done for this imperfect girl. I guess that has been my prayer through it all, that I would trust Him enough to lead me to the right passion in His right timing. That is my prayer for you too. I know I can't be alone in this and I'm praying earnestly for The Lord to reveal your calling as well.
Thanks for letting me rant and I hope that this post could be somewhat of an encouragement for those struggling like me. Thankfully we are not alone and we have each other and The Creator on our side with only the best intentions for our life. That is such a joy and huge relief! Praise Jesus for His perfect will and timing! Who knows, maybe I can still become a cat....
Maddie
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